Chuck Norris doesn't check under his bed for monsters, monsters check on top of the bed to see if Chuck Norris is sleeping.
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Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek."
He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
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Chuck Norris doesn't jump. He moves the ground away from him.
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Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
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Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.
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Chuck Norris once broke the land bike speed record with a bike with a lost chain and a missing back wheel.
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The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea.
Until it met Chuck Norris.
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With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
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Willy Wonka gave an everlasting gobstopper to Chuck Norris.
The flavor lasted 2.3 seconds.
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