Chuck Norris doesn't check under his bed for monsters, monsters check on top of the bed to see if Chuck Norris is sleeping.
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Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man.
When the last line is drawn, that man dies!
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Chuck Norris' beard has a tattoo.
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Chuck Norris doesn't make typos.
Words simply stutter in his presence.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run out of bullets, bullets run out of Norrises.
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We're hoping Chuck Norris doesn't go bald on top.
It's a bad look with his mullet.
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After meeting with Chuck Norris' lawyer the UFC have changed their name from "Ultimate Fighting Championship" to simply "Fighting Championship."
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The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction.
No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
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The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it.
Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
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When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger.
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What's the last thing that goes through your mind when you fight Chuck Norris?
His foot.
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