Chuck Norris only weakness, is weakness, of course!
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Chuck Norris doesn't give warnings. He doesn't have to, you should already know.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run for President; the President runs for Vice God Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek."
He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
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Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices.
But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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Chuck Norris can travel a negative distance.
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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