When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does. NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever. That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
Nuclear weapons were discovered after a failed attempt to harness the power of Chuck Norris.
Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.
Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.