When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does. NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
Chuck Norris does not cleanse himself with your everyday shower. He uses Meteor Showers.
Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion. No episode aired, as no one survived.
The beatles originally said they were "Bigger than Chuck Norris", John Lennon was simply a warning.
Chuck Norris isn't a good shot, his bullets just know better than to miss.
In "ring around the rosie", Chuck Norris does not fall down.
Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
Chuck Norris has stared Fear in the face... and Fear looked away.