When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does. NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
Chuck Norris can do a downward uppercut.
Moses did not part the sea. Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
Chuck Norris does, in fact, put his pants on two legs at a time.
How far can you spit. Try to beat Chuck Norris if you ask how far can he spit, at night look at the moon and don't wonder from were the craters come.
Chuck Norris once went logging and took down a forest. Then he came back for his axe.
R. Lee Ermey's war face is the face he made when he saw Chuck Norris ready to attack.
When Chuck Norris goes to a BBL cricket game, he doesn't watch out for the big hits from the players, the big hits watch out for him!