When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does. NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
Some people can ride their bikes with no handle bars. But chuck norris can ride his handlebars with no bike.
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
When Chuck Norris plays Nazi Zombies it's the Zombies who build barriers.
Most leading hand sanitizers say that they can kil 99.99% of all germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% of WHATEVER HE WANTS.
The Roswell UFO crashed because Chuck thought it was a frisbee.
Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.