Everyone knows Chuck Norris' pet rock... he named it "Earth."
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.
When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once ate a bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them
Aliens believe in Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Mortal Kombat is not difficult enough for Chuck Norris, so he got Immortal Kombat.
Thundergun shot is a Chuck Norris sneeze.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.