Chuck Norris never bathes.
Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
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Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
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Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
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When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
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Chuck Norris can close Pandora's Box.
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Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
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15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest?
I don't know he is still busy.
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Chuck Norris stem cells can reproduce missing limbs.
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Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
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Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler.
With him inside it.
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Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
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