Chuck Norris never bathes. Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack. His heart is too smart to not attack him.
Chuck Norris created the World Wide Web using a typewriter.
Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
Chuch Norris filmed the making of the first camera.
Chuck Norris can swim in an empty pool.
The hardest known subsatance in the universe is Chuck Norris's will.
The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris. The whole universe goes to hell.
Chuck Norris isn't a good shot, his bullets just know better than to miss.
If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
Chuck Norris can hammer a wall into a nail.