Joke #5841

Q: Why do blondes smile when there's lightning? A: Because they think they're getting their picture taken!
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has 73.80 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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A blonde was recently fired from an M&M factory for throwing away Ws and peeling the shells off the candies. Therefore, she needed a new job to support herself. After going around town asking if anyone needed work done, she found a man who needed a painter. "I'm here for the paint job," she said. "Alright," said the man. "Here is the paint and your brush. I want you to paint my porch behind the house." The blonde immediately went to work painting. Within an hour, she was done and decided to put on a second coat. After she finished, she returned to the man for her pay. She said with satisfaction, "I not only completed the job, but I even put on two coats of paint! By the way, that isn't a Porsche out back. It's a new BMW.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Chuck Norris is under contract with Zales and DeBeer not to eat coal.
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has 28.62 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. The truck driver motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde, "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!" He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face. "Oh you think that's funny? Watch this!" He gets a baseball bat out of His truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tyres. Now she’s laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is almost falling over. "What's so funny?" the truck driver asked the blonde. She replied, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle."
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
A blonde was so proud of herself because she finished a jigsaw in 6 months and the cover said 2-4 years!
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A guy had a date with this really hot blonde. He wanted a tan, so he went up on his roof and stripped because he didn't want a tan line. But he fell asleep and woke up three hours later with a sunburn, especially on his d**k. He puts lotion on it, wraps it up and gets ready for his date. The blonde comes over, they make dinner and are watching a movie when the sunburn on the guy's d**k really starts to hurt. So he excuses himself to the kitchen, where he pours milk on his d**k to alleviate the burn. The blonde, who has followed him, peeks in the kitchen and says to herself, "So that's how they load them."
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has 62.91 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
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has 69.22 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, dirty, sex
Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license?  "Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!"
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has 66.21 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: bar, blonde, disgusting, lawyer
Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ? A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.
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has 18.30 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde calls a pizza place to have one ordered to her house. They ask her if she wants the pizza cut into 6 or 12 pieces and she says, "Cut it into 6, I could never eat 12 pieces."
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food
A blonde, brunette and a red-head were trapped on a island 20 miles from shore. The red-head started swimming and got tired after 2 miles and turned around and swam back. Then the brunette started to swim and after 7 miles of swimming she turned back. The blonde jumped in and swam 17 miles got tired and turned back.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde