Q: Why do blondes smile when there's lightning? A: Because they think they're getting their picture taken!
Why did the blonde build a bridge across the river? So she could have shade when she swam across!
What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase? ‘It’s okay, Daddy, I’m not hurt.’
Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives? A: The vegetable garden.
A blonde goes into a store and sees a shiny object on the shelf. She asks the clerk, “What is that shiny object?” The clerk replies, “That is a thermos.” The blonde then asks, “What does it do?” The clerk responds, “It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold.” The blonde says, “Oh! I could use something like that! I’ll take it!” The next day, as she walks into work with her new thermos she spots her boss and shows off her shiny new thermos, “I just got this yesterday, isn’t it wonderful! It’s a thermos and it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold!” The boss asks, “And what do you have in it?” The blonde replies, “Some coffee and a popsicle.”
A blonde and a redhead are taken hostage by terrorists. The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad. Just before the squad fires, the redhead points and yells, "Tornado!" The terrorists run in all different directions, and the redhead escapes. When they realize what has happened, the terrorists come back to where the blonde is still standing. They raise their rifles, and thinking quickly, the blonde points and yells, "Fire!
One day a blonde woman entered an autobody shop claiming that she’d suffered extensive damage to her new car. The mechanic thought he’d have some fun with her so he told her that she didn’t need him to fixed all the dents. He said she could fix them herself by blowing into the tailpipe as hard as she could and they’d all pop out. The woman went home and proceeded to get down on her hands and knees in the driveway. She was blowing into the pipe as hard as she could and her face was turning purple when another blonde woman walked by and asked what she was doing. After hearing the whole story the second blonde pauses for a moment then responds, “Hello! The windows are down. Your personal check for the full $30,000.”
Why should you never let a blonde take a tea or coffee break? "It's too hard to re-train them."
A blonde went to the eletronic store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?" The salesman said, "Sorry, we don"t sell to blondes." The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don"t sell to blondes." The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don"t sell to blondes." She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?" "Because that is not a TV, it's a microwave."
What do bleached blondes and jumbo jets have in common? Black boxes.