Q: Why do blondes smile when there's lightning? A: Because they think they're getting their picture taken!
A blonde hops on and off a curb on a busy street, saying 54 over and over. A brunette walks by and asks what the blonde is doing. The blonde replies that she is jumping on and off the curb saying 54 over and over. The brunette joins her. Soon, the brunette gets hit by a passing car. The blonde watches as the car drives away. The blond then continues to jump on and off the curb, saying 55 over and over.
Q: What did the blonde say when the airplane began to shake? A: Must be an earthquake.
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Hey" she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, "You are already on the other side."
A blonde comes to a doctor and complains: Doc, please help: when I touch my head - it hurts, when I touch my belly - it hurts, when I touch my leg - it hurts... I know what has happened to you. And what? You've broken your finger.
Why did the Blonde pee in the Grocery Store? The sign said "Wet Floor."
A guy had a date with this really hot blonde. He wanted a tan, so he went up on his roof and stripped because he didn't want a tan line. But he fell asleep and woke up three hours later with a sunburn, especially on his d**k. He puts lotion on it, wraps it up and gets ready for his date. The blonde comes over, they make dinner and are watching a movie when the sunburn on the guy's d**k really starts to hurt. So he excuses himself to the kitchen, where he pours milk on his d**k to alleviate the burn. The blonde, who has followed him, peeks in the kitchen and says to herself, "So that's how they load them."
Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation. They get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning – though none of them can remember what they did the night before. The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, “I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent.” They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her. The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. “I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent.” They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her. The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, “Well, I’m from the University of Texas and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I’ll tell ya right now, ya’ll ain’t gonna electrocute nobody if you don’t plug this thing in.”
Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers liscence? A: She wasn't used to the front seat!
Why did the blond speed on the highway? Because she thought the cars behind her where chasing her!!!!
Natalie, a pretty but distraught blonde model, took her troubles to a psychiatrist. "Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time a man takes me out, I wind up in bed with him. And then afterward I feel guilty and depressed all day long." "I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you want me to strengthen your will power." "Heavens, NO!" exclaimed the model. "I want you to fix it so I don't feel guilty and depressed afterward."