Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
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Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
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When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
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Chuck Norris can drive a car without gas... or an engine.
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Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
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When Chuck Norris is in Rome, they do what he does.
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Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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Chuck Norris said "come on" and "on" came.
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Chuck Norris CAN leave Hotel California.
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