Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
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Chuck Norris can flush a port-a-potty.
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Chuck Norris was the original star of "24."
It was called "1."
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Chuck Norris does not smile. \r\nHe flexes his teeth.
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When Chuck Norris falls over, the ground needs a band-aid
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Chuck Norris once stuck a fork in a toaster and the toaster got electrocuted.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an ESC key on his computer, no one ever escapes.
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Chuck Norris' personal airplane is called Air Force Chuck.
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Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris never gets dirty.
The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
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The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun.
The Earth is stationary.
The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
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