Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris sees dead people...and they run.
Chuck Norris can copy and paste on a typewriter.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
Chuck Norris can actually describe the taste of purified water.
Chuck Norris only created Russians so he can use them to take over TGI Fridays.