When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Chuck Norris can divide prime numbers into whole numbers.
Chuck Norris jumped the grand canyon...longways
Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
When Chuck Norris is in Rome, they do what he does.
Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks. They fold under pressure.
Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
Ali Baba said "Open sesame" to open the secret entrance to the treasure, but little did he know that saying "Open Chuck Norris" opens all doors.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".