When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
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Q: You know the Roman Empire, well how do you think it fell?
A: Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris can shut the door open.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to make a cameo appearence in "Full House" but he was let off because he wanted to rename the show "Roundhouse."
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Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand.
That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
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Bill Gates lives in fear Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
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Chuck Norris invented black.
In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light.
Except pink.
Tom Cruise invented pink.
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Chuck Norris is proof that legends never die.
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We're hoping Chuck Norris doesn't go bald on top.
It's a bad look with his mullet.
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As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer.
He gave the world Stonehenge.
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