When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
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Every bone inside Chuck Norris is his funny bone, cause he laughs wherever you hit him.
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The phrase "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" was actually first coined by Chuck Norris when he came out of the womb.
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Chuck Norris can break his opponents serve with an ace.
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Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
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Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
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Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
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Chuck Norris has a daugter: Jason Bourne.
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After Chuck Norris sweats the sweat evaporates into the sky and forms what we call lightning.
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