Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.
Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.
Chuck Norris beat a brick wall at tennis.
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
The Beatles' song "HELP" was written after they met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.
Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.
Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.