I hear you take milk baths.
That's right.
Why?
I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower.
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What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?
Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.
The FAA has a device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. They point this thing at the windshield of the aircraft and shoot a dead chicken at about the speed the air-craft normally flies at it. If the windshield doesn't break, it's likely to survive a real collision with a bird during flight.
The British had recently built a new locomotive that could pull a train faster than any before it. They were not sure that its windshield was strong enough so they borrowed the testing device from the FAA, reset it to approximate the maximum speed of the locomotive, loaded in the dead chicken, and fired. The bird went through the windshield, broke the engineer's chair, and made a major dent in the back wall of the engine cab.
They were quite surprised with this result, so they asked the FAA to check the test to see if everything was done correctly. The FAA checked everything and suggested that they might want to repeat the test using a thawed chicken.
How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites?
They take a gallop poll!
A husband and wife are eating soup.
The wife spills soup all over her and says:
"Oh no, I look like a pig"
"Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom!
What's the best way to catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on him.
Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: Because they live in schools.