I hear you take milk baths. That's right. Why? I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout? A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked? Udder chaos.
An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
Why was the skunk angry? He was incensed.
You said it was a great horse and it is. It took twenty other horses to beat him!
What famous painting do cows love to look at? The Moona Lisa.
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up? Because the first thing a child looks up is dog. The second is snake. And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.
What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny? Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.
Three tortoises, Tinku, Teku and Toku, went into a restaurant. Each of them ordered a large ice cream sundae. They were waiting for their order when they noticed that it was pouring with rain outside. "We are going to need our umbrellas," said Toku. Tinku agreed. They both decided that Teku should run home to get the umbrellas, but he didn't want to go in case they ate his ice-cream while he was away. But Toku and Tinku promised that they would do nothing of the kind, so Teku set off. One week went by and Teku did not return. Two weeks went by and still he did not appear. Halfway through the third week, Tinku turned to Toku and said, "Come on, let's eat his ice cream." "Okay, let's," said Toku. Just then Teku's voice piped up from under the next table, "If you do, I won't go for that umbrella!"