Joke #10046

I hear you take milk baths. That's right. Why? I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower.

No chicken dies a virgin. They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.

Jesse starts wailing to the vet, "you gotta save my dog, he looks real bad - please you just gotta!" "There, there Jesse, your dog just has a broken hip he'll be fine in no time. My fee, of course, will be $1,500." Jesse starts to wail - "oh, my dog's going to die!!!"

Three tortoises, Tinku, Teku and Toku, went into a restaurant. Each of them ordered a large ice cream sundae. They were waiting for their order when they noticed that it was pouring with rain outside. "We are going to need our umbrellas," said Toku. Tinku agreed. They both decided that Teku should run home to get the umbrellas, but he didn't want to go in case they ate his ice-cream while he was away. But Toku and Tinku promised that they would do nothing of the kind, so Teku set off. One week went by and Teku did not return. Two weeks went by and still he did not appear. Halfway through the third week, Tinku turned to Toku and said, "Come on, let's eat his ice cream." "Okay, let's," said Toku. Just then Teku's voice piped up from under the next table, "If you do, I won't go for that umbrella!"

Did you hear about the argumentative skunk? He always liked to make a stink.

Why do polo bears like bald men? Because they have a great, white, bear place.

One day a man heard knocking at his door. He opened the door only to see a small snail sitting there smiling. The guy picked the snail up and threw it as far as he possibly could. Three years later he heard knocking at the door again. He opened the door to see the snail. The snail said, "What the hell was that all about?"

I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.

What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull.

What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man? Tarzan stripes forever.

Where do cows like to ride on trains? In the cow-boose.