A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off. "How did this happen?" the doctor asked. "Well I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied. "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?" "No silly! First I put the gun to my chest and I thought, ‘I just paid $6,000 for these,’ then I put it in my mouth and I thought, ‘I just paid $4,000 to get my teeth fixed.’ So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought, ‘this is going to make a loud noise,’ so I put my finger in my ear before I pulled the trigger.”
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature." Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
How come you don’t find stupid brunettes anywhere? Because they all painted themselves blond.
Q: How can you tell that a blonde been baking chocolate chip cookies? A: There are M&M shells all over the floor.
Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Q: Why did the blonde keep an empty carton of milk in the fridge? A: In case she wanted black coffee.
Why did the blond speed on the highway? Because she thought the cars behind her where chasing her!!!!
A blonde was trapped on an island and had to swim 1000 miles to get back to the mainland. She swam 500 miles and got tired, so swam back to the island.
Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were arguing over whose father could beat the other’ up. The brown-haired kid said, “My father is way better than yours.” The blond came back, “Maybe, but my mother is better than yours.” “That’s what my father says.”