Chuck Norris can sit in the shade...in an open field.
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It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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Chuck Norris does not open doors.
Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
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Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
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Chuck Norris does not eat.
Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
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When Jeronimo jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "CHUUUUCCCKKK NNNNOOOORRRIIIISSSSSS!"
When Chuck Norris jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
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If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Mess with Chuck Norris, you get roundhouse kicked.
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Chuck Norris goes to the Bermuda Triangle for vacation.
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The world did not have a tilt in its axis until Chuck Norris stubbed his toe on the North Pole.
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