Chuck Norris can sit in the shade...in an open field.
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Chuck Norris once stuck a fork in a toaster and the toaster got electrocuted.
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The earth doesn't revolve around the sun.
It's the sun that revolves around Chuck Norris.
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Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
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God created universe, Chuck Norris created God.
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Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet?
A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
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When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.
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Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.
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When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
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In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep.
Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
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