Chuck Norris can sit in the shade...in an open field.
If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, even Google won't be able to find you.
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack. His heart is too smart to not attack him.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a License to drive a car... The car needs a special license to be driven by Chuck Norris.
Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared. These are known as black holes.
The Swiss army uses a Chuck Norris knife.
50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.