Chuck Norris can sit in the shade...in an open field.
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Chuck Norris shot a man to death with an unloaded nerf gun.
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Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.
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Chuck Norris CAN get blood from a stone.
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Chuck Norris can put out fire with gasoline.
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Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
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They were just five lakes, until Chuck Norris said they were Great!
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Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.
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Chuck Norris gave Iceman frostbite.
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When Chuck Norris say it's hot, people sweat.
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Chuck Norris can talk with his mouth closed.
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