Chuck Norris can sit in the shade...in an open field.
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Chuck Norris once toboggoned down Mount Everest and then sprinted back up cuz he realized he lost his mitten.
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Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.
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Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
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Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
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Chuck Norris knows no fear but fear has been known to hide from Chuck Norris.
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Where does the devil go when he dies?
He goes to Chuck Norris for an eternity of roundhouse kicks.
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Chuck Norris finished the Never Ending Story.
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Chuck Norris can talk with his mouth closed.
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The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
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When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
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