Chuck Norris can sit in the shade...in an open field.
The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun. The Earth is stationary. The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
Do you know why God is called "God"? Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
What does the fox say? Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
You don't invite Chuck Norris. He invites himself.
Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.
Chuck Norris can beat everyone. Except for 1 person. Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris can play a whole note in 3/4 time.
Chuck Norris has a website, is called the internet.