Chuck Norris was the image used for Papa Smurf.
Chuck Norris can listen to 24 hours worth of music and not move a single muscle.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris "Caught 'Em All " twice.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
In reality, only Chuck Norris is allowed to sing "We are the Champions". He has no time for losers. He will rock you.
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
Chuck Norris can experience a once in a life time occurrence... twice.
Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
How much white out does Chuck Norris use? Don't be silly - Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.