Guy having sex says "damn bitch, there should be a law against sex this good."
To which the girl replies "I think there is daddy..."
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Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever.
Me: What's that hunny?
Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk.
Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
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An Arabic kid joined my football team.
All he did was blow the plays.
Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other?
A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
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What does a skeleton say when he wants to eat?
Bone appetit!
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Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: They don't know where home is.
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What happened when the cannibal got a religion?
He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
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Q: What did Hitler get his granddaughter for her 5th birthday?
A: An easy bake oven.
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Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
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Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
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I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today.
I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
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