Guy having sex says "damn bitch, there should be a law against sex this good." To which the girl replies "I think there is daddy..."
Two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs." One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
Do you remember how everyone was trying to kill Osama Bin Laden? Well, since all of our presidents seem to get shot, why we just didn't make Bin Laden president.
I'm thinking about opening a summer camp for jewish kids with adhd and dyslexia, I'm gonna call it Concentration camp.
Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? Because black people have no rights...
Q: What's more offensive than a truck full of dead babies? A: Taking them out with pitchforks.
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children. You put groceries in the other.
Since it started to rain, my wife can't stop looking through the window. If it will start pouring down, I'm afraid I will have to let her inside.
So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just one person!
Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors? A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner? So they can take bubble baths.