Joke #5875

Guy having sex says "damn bitch, there should be a law against sex this good." To which the girl replies "I think there is daddy..."

A doctor from the inner city was conversing with an old friend from med school at a cafe when he said, "Man, can I tell you something?" His friend nods. "Sure." "Okay, so the other day I had this one really hot, foreign patient, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since..." He goes on to tell his friend everything about her, from her long blond hair and ability to speak fluent French, to her shimmering blue eyes and soft skin. His friend seemed more disgusted with each passing moment. "Dude, that is not cool." The doctor, indignant, defended himself. "What's wrong with that? Lots of doctors are attracted to their patients." His friend simply shook his head and replied, "Maybe, but I guarantee you none of those doctors were pediatricians..."

I saw a girl crying, so I asked her "Where are your parents?" and she started crying even more. Man, I love working at the orphanage.

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy "Hey mister its getting dark out and I'm scared." Man "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."

Q: What's the best thing about ISIS jokes? A: The execution.

Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews? A: Santa comes down the chimney.

Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.

Q: What is height of Suicide? A: A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

Q: Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies? A: There is one at the bottom that is still alive. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He has to eat his way out. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He goes back for more.

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children. You put groceries in the other.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.