Guy having sex says "damn bitch, there should be a law against sex this good."
To which the girl replies "I think there is daddy..."
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Use to be we had Bob Hope, Johnny Cash, and Steven Jobs.
Now we have no hope, no cash, and no jobs.
Please do not die Kevin Bacon.
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Always go to other people’s funerals, or they won’t go to yours.
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Patient: "Are you sure that you can do this operation safely?"
Doctor: "That is what I want to find out myself."
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Two clones are on a roof.
One clone pushes the other clone off.
The next day the police arrest him for making an obscene clone fall.
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Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
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What's red and crawls up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
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So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just one person!
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If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?
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Q: What is the worst thing about a vegetable?
A: Spitting them back up in a wheelchair.
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Why is Hitler never invited to BBQ's?
He always burns the franks.
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