Guy having sex says "damn bitch, there should be a law against sex this good."
To which the girl replies "I think there is daddy..."
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Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago?
Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
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Q: What does FUBU really stand for?
A: Farmers used to buy us.
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My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital.
I went to see him the next day, but he just kept whispering "Chun Yu Yan" over and over – and then died.
I was very sad and googled his last message after the burial.
Apparently, it means "You're standing on my oxygen tube."
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How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
His hand slipped.
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While examining the the body of Mr. Schwartz, a mortician notices that Schwartz has the largest penis he has ever seen.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Schwartz," says the mortician, "But I can't send you to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity."
The mortician removes the penis, places it in a jar and puts the jar in his briefcase. When he gets home, he decides to show it to his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he says, removing the jar from his briefcase.
"Oh my God!" she screams, "Schwartz is dead!"
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What's pink and chunky?
A baby with leprosy.
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Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her?
A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog.
When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender?
A: I don't know, I just like to hear them scream.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Chips.
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A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral.
A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
"Ten dollars?" she said.
"It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
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