Chuck Norris once dropped a glass vase onto the floor.
The glass apologized for breaking in his presence.
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In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
Chuck Norris was once asked to place his legs and fists in the cargo bay of a plane because weapons aren't allowed in the cabin.
Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
The reason Tom Cruise runs in all his movies is because he's running the hell away from Chuck Norris.
Two things in life are certain: Death and a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can pick "side" when flipping a coin.
Chuck Norris doesn’t swim, we beats the water into submission.
Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor.