Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
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When Chuck Norris donates blood he refuses the needle, he asks for a knife and a bucket.
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Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
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Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
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The earth is rotating because Chuck Norris is breathing.
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Chuck Norris can open Microsoft Windows when he needs fresh air.
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Chuck Norris is so cool, ice cubes are jealous...
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Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
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Ed and Lorraine Warren have the doll Anabelle locked in a glass case in their basement, a priest comes there every week to whisper Chuck Norris's name in its ear.
The doll locked itself in the case upon first hearing the name.
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The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.
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