Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
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Obama said, "Yes we can." Chuck Norris says, "I already did.".
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Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chuck Norris' glare will liquify your kidney.
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Chuck Norris can scratch sandpaper.
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Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive?
A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.
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Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad.
It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.
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Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.
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When Chuck crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
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Chuck Norris once stayed at the Hotel California and was allowed to check out... and leave.
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What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Chuck Norris came first.
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