Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
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In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris.
The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size.
When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
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Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
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After being shot by a criminal, Chuck Norris said... "that tickles".
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My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
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When Chuck Norris drives a Lamborghini, people assume the Llamborghini is compensating for something.
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Chuck Norris never uses a navigation system.
The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.
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Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out.
No one dared to move.
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