When Chuck Norris visits Europe on vacation, France surrenders.
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Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Mickey mouse talks like that.
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Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet?
A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
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Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands.
They are now The Islands.
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Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies.
He potato-sacks them.
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Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
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Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At night.
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Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.
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Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.
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