Chuck Norris can suck a black hole.
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Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
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Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.
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Chuck Norris once kicked Hulk in the face, so Hulk ran into the woods.
He is now known as Shrek.
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Chuck Norris made time wait.
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Chuck Norris' personal airplane is called Air Force Chuck.
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Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine.
He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself.
Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
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Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
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Chuck Norris crossed the road.
No one has ever dared question his motives.
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Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.
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Chuck Norris watched the tape from The Ring.
His phone rang and when he answered a scared voice said "Excuse me, the wrong number"
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