Chuck Norris can suck a black hole.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Chuck Norris can jump without leaving the ground.
Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris can sit at the corner of a round table
When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.
Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
For fear of Chuck Norris, his shoes tie themselves.
Chuck Norris can travel a negative distance.