During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3."
All was good.
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Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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Fire trucks and ambulances pull to the shoulder when chuck Norris drives by.
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Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
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Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
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There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.
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If Chuck Norris fights with himself, it's a win-win situation.
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Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel.
Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
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Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president.
If you’re thinking to yourself, “But Chuck Norris isn’t black”, then you are dead wrong.
And stop being a racist.
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