During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3."
All was good.
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Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
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Chuck Norris got added by facebook itself.
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Law of Gravity doesn't apply to Chuck Norris, he enforces it... with a round house kick.
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According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
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Chuck Norris can sit at the corner of a round table
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When Chuck Norris finds fools' gold it automatically turns into real gold.
Chuck Norris is nobody's fool.
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Chuck Norris is cooler than the other side of the pillow.
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Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
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The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever.
That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
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