During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3."
All was good.
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Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
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The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
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Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
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Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.
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Chuck Norris can peel an orange with his eyelids, but he rarely needs Vitamin C.
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Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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Chuck Norris made sick the healthy chocolate.
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The following is a short list of what Chuck Norris cannot do: .
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