Chuck Norris can freeze water using a toaster.
Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris dosen't need to stand on top of the empire state building to kill someone with a penny.
Chuck Norris' free advice is worth a fortune.
Chuck Norris to Major Tom - Stay there.
There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
Chuck Norris isn't appropriate... appropriate isn't Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris CAN leave Hotel California.
Chuck Norris has his own protien powder. The ingriedients include: cocoa powder, stem cells, dodo egg protien, enriched uranium, LSD, and Vin Diesel.
World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order. Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.