Chuck Norris can buy priceless moments. At a discount price.
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Chuck Norris' favorite game is winning.
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Scientis cannot figure out where Atlantis is...
Chuck Norris owns a villa there.
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Chuck Norris can build a house from the roof down.
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Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.
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When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
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Jason Bourne fought Chuck Norris but he can't remember because now he has amnesia.
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Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum.
Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
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If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win.
But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
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