Chuck Norris once strangled a man with the mans own eyelash.
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
Chuck Norris blows out trick candles.
Chuck Norris once toboggoned down Mount Everest and then sprinted back up cuz he realized he lost his mitten.
Just announced that they are changing all the days of the week to Chuckdays. Happy Chuckday everyone!
Chuck Norris once planted a box of Cheerios in his yard, the result was a donut tree.
Chuck Norris can flip a coin and make it land on both sides at the same time.
Chuck Norris once won a rap battle against Eminem. He just kept saying "Chuck Norris" in a raplike-fashion. The crowds' heads exploded from amazement.
Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals. Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.