Chuck Norris can travel through time by running 88 miles per hour.
In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".
Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself. We call it The Big Bang.
Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
Chuck Norris once saw Spiderman on a wall and then folded his newspaper.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books. The words assemble themselves out of fear.
Chuk Norris was only twice angry, and those times are known as WWI and WWII.
The Question Mark was invented after scientists attempted to measure the speed of a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.