Salmon swim upstream because Chuck Norris is downstream.
Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.
Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.
Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
Chuck Norris once appeared on celebrity wipeout. They had to end the season after he destroyed the sucker punch wall with his chin.
Chuck Norris can put out a fire using nothing but gasoline.
The first time Chuck Norris won a game of poker was when his apponant reaveled his full house; then Chuck Norris reaveled his roundhouse.