Salmon swim upstream because Chuck Norris is downstream.
Chuck Norris can paint the rainbow... with black.
Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear... Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear
America doesn't need a military... We've got Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks, physics decides to shut up.
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
Chuck Norris' shadow stays ten steps behind him in fear of a roundhouse kick.
When Death knocked on Chuck Norris’s door, Chuck Norris laughed. Death is now Chuck Norris’s B*tch.
All wars stopped when Chuck Norris said, "Can I apply for the army?"
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.