Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.
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Chuck Norris does, in fact, put his pants on two legs at a time.
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Chuck Norris can play volleyball with a bowlingball.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face.
Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
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Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
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Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
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Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
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Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
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Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
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Ed and Lorraine Warren have the doll Anabelle locked in a glass case in their basement, a priest comes there every week to whisper Chuck Norris's name in its ear.
The doll locked itself in the case upon first hearing the name.
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