Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.
Chuck Norris does, in fact, put his pants on two legs at a time.
Chuck Norris can play volleyball with a bowlingball.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face. Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.