Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
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You know "The Matrix" that was Chuck Norris' very first dream.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
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Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared.
These are known as black holes.
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When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
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Chuck Norris got into Cambridge... without any qualifications.
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After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris.
It was more "humane".
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