Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.
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Chuck Norris knows no fear but fear has been known to hide from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can travel through time by running 88 miles per hour.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Professor X is on a wheelchair.
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Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man".
Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man".
Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory.
He refreshes webpages by blinking.
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Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
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Chuck Norris knows who let the dogs out.
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Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
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Bruce Springsteen calls Chuck Norris 'The Boss'.
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