Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.
In 1945 Chuck Norris drank a Redbull and jumped out a plane. For image results, Google the word Hiroshima.
Dear Chuck Norris, Could you please close the door of your refrigerator. Thank you, Europe
Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
Chuck Norris can hammer a wall into a nail.
Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
Chuck Norris is the reason you turn a light on when you enter a room.
Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.
When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.