Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.
Chuck Norris doesn't run out of bullets, bullets run out of Norrises.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
Chuck Norris doesn't do steroids, steroids do Chuck Norris.
There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
Chuck Norris once went logging and took down a forest. Then he came back for his axe.
You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
When Chuck Norris logged in to WoW, everyone logged out.
If only telemarketers would have the balls to call Chuck Norris... Then none of us would have to put up with them again.
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. By phone.