Chuck Norris can get a strike in bowling using a ping-pong ball.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the cinema, he changes the movies with his remote control.
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.
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The sandman puts other people to sleep but Chuck Norris put the sandman to sleep.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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Chuck Norris will never die.
The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum.
Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
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Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
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When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
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Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
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