Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
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Chuck Norris was born feet first.
It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
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When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
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When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
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Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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An old man goes to his doctor.
The doctor says "I got some bad news for you. you have Cancer and you have Alzheimer's."
And the old man says "At least I don't have Cancer."
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Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.
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