All men are born equal. Chuck Norris was just born more equal than everyone else.
Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
Chuck Norris got into Cambridge... without any qualifications.
Q: What's the easiest way to a persons heart? A: Chuck Norris' fist
Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
Chuck Norris is danger's middle name.
Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.
When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat , he dosn't hit water... That's because Chuck Norris would never fall out of a boat it the first place.