Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights he tells his muscles to get bigger.
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When Chuck Norris plays hangman, he decides what the word is.
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Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
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When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger.
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Chuck Norris CAN leave Hotel California.
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Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF!
Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
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"With great power comes a great beard!"
- Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
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