Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights he tells his muscles to get bigger.
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Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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A body in motion will remain in motion until roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris.
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The first paper money press was invented when Chuck Norris drew a design under his boot and stepped on a tree.
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Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
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When Chuck Norris goes through airport security he makes them take their shoes off.
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Chuck Norris can cut a saw with a wood board.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris.
The whole universe goes to hell.
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Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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