Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights he tells his muscles to get bigger.
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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Chuck Norris does infinit loops in 4 seconds.
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Chuck Norris digs up gold - from silver linings.
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Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
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Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
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They said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, a picture of Chuck Norris is worth a 1000 ways to die.
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Chuck Norris can hammer a wall into a nail.
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Chuck Norris is a man of few words.
Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run for President; the President runs for Vice God Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do steroids, steroids do Chuck Norris.
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