Chuck Norris once pushed a door that said,"pull."
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Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
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Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator.
However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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AIDS Can't Kill Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris goes out to survive in the Wilderness, the Wilderness ends up trying to survive from him.
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In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris.
No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris is the reason there is wind.
The air tries to get away from him as fast as possible.
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS.
Chuck Norris decides where he is.
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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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