Chuck Norris once pushed a door that said,"pull."
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All wars stopped when Chuck Norris said, "Can I apply for the army?"
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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.
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Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
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Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
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Chuck Norris built the never ending stairs.
Then he climbed it up.
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If Chuck Norris drinks too much, he doesn't throw up, he throws down!
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Water can't breath under Chuck Norris.
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Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.
Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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