Chuck Norris once pushed a door that said,"pull."
Leonardo DiCaprio only starred in Inception because if he didn't, Chuck Norris will enter his dream and roundhouse kick him into limbo.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented hot sauce. To put on his peppers.
When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.
When batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
Chuck Norris knows who's buried in Grant's Tomb.