Chuck Norris always knows where x is.
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When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech.
He actually does it.
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Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.
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Film makers are smart enough NOT to make a Chuck Norris movie in 3D.
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Crest fights cavities, Chuck Norris kills them.
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The Titanic sunk because Chuck Norris ran into it during his swim.
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Chuck Norris once had to go to court...the judge got life in prison.
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Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
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When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.
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