Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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Chuck was once on the Olympics and he won all the medals but he was disqualifyed for roundhouse kicking the judges because they misspelled his name.
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When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.
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Water can't breath under Chuck Norris.
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Freddy Krueger has nightmares of Chuck Norris
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Most leading hand sanitizers say that they can kil 99.99% of all germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100% of WHATEVER HE WANTS.
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Did you ever wonder how the moon got craters?
3 words: Chuck Norris Golf.
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Don King once had straight hair, until that day he saw Chuck Norris' eyes staring him down.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone.
The ground is afraid to break it.
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Chuck Norris knows the last number of infinity.
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Chuck Norris is the only one who doesn't have to tell PayPal to switch the funding source to his credit card.
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