Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
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Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch...
Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
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Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
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Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
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Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
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Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris to Major Tom - Stay there.
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Chuck Norris already has Final Fantasy XXI.
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Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
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Guns sleep with a picture of Chuck Norris under their pillows.
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