Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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If Chuck Norris hosted TV series "Survivor" No one would Survive!
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When Chuck Norris asks you to stop mid-sentence, you.
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You don't invite Chuck Norris.
He invites himself.
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Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
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Chuck Norris does not play the lottery.
It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.
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Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights.
His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
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Chuck Norris broke the world record for most punches in a minute with one roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris can play PS3 games - on PS1
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Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
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