Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win.
But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
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Lightning doesn't strike Chuck Norris, chuck norris strikes lightning!
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When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, they take a number.
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Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.
Twice.
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Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.
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If Chuck Norris were an Adam's Apple, he'd be in your throat right now.
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Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.
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Chuck Norris can skip a sound track on the radio if he doesn't like it.
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When Chuck Norris plays the game Clue, the answer is always everyone in every room with a roundhouse kick!
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Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.
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