Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
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Chuck Norris once won the title of Iron Chef by cooking instant ramen noodles.
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The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it.
Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
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Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet.
The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
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Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236.
It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
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Chuck Norris ate once at Hard Rock Cafe.
It's now called Shakey's.
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Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids.
The results came back positive.
When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
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In space Chuck Norris can hear your screams.
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Chuck Norris can answer a missed call.
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Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
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