Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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Chuck Norris once strangled a man with the mans own eyelash.
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Just the thought of using Chuck Norris in a war is considered a terrible crime against humanity.
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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When Chuck Norris is as old as dirt, he will be the salt of the earth.
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Note to self:
Don’t be the cashier to tell Chuck Norris his coupons have expired.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get stuck in traffic, traffic gets stuck in Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris caught all the 493 Pokemon...
With the Yellow version.
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In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep.
Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
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