Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
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Chuck Norris discovered America.
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Alien from "A.V.P" is just Chuck Norris' Gecko.
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Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
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Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.
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Chuck Norris pours the milk first, then he pours the cereal.
Then he places the bowl.
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Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
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Chuck Norris can win an argument with his wife.
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Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
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Jason Bourne fought Chuck Norris but he can't remember because now he has amnesia.
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