Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
Chuck Norris discovered America.
Alien from "A.V.P" is just Chuck Norris' Gecko.
Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police. They are used as bullet proof vests.
Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.
Chuck Norris pours the milk first, then he pours the cereal. Then he places the bowl.
Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
Chuck Norris can win an argument with his wife.
Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.