Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
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Chuck Norris is the only person that can make you feel a punch to your face in your groin.
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Chuck Norris saw the Invisible Man.
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Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids.
Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
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Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe.
Chuck said, "I don't like the juice."
Hitler heard him wrong.
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Chuck Norris was asked to star in Night of the Living Dead but filming was ended after the zombies were to afraid to be roundhouse kicked in the face.
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Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
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The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
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Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't sweat.
He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
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