Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
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Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet.
The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
When you insult Chuck Norris, the next thing you are going to see is a bunch of halos.
Time waits for no man.
Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once stitched up a cut in his arm with a spoon.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
Chuck Norris knows what pi tastes like.
Chuck Norris can kill you as many times as he wants to.
He knows CPR.
Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.