In space Chuck Norris can hear your screams.
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Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
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If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple.
Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
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Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.
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At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
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Chuck Norris is the only one that can turn lemonade into lemons.
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No matter how fast you run, Chuck Norris will always walk faster.
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Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
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