Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.
Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog. When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
Chuck Norris doesn't age, he levels up!
Big Foot discovered Chuck Norris and hid in the forest.
Chuck Norris is the only one who has a silver goldfish.
Chuck Norris can hear pictures.
Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets; he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.