Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236.
It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
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The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
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Chuck Norris can make a snowman with sand.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving.
He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
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Chuck Norris likes steel wool... it's his loofah.
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Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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Chuck Norris can suck a black hole.
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Time travel is possible.
But you must first get past Chuck Norris...
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Chuck Norris knows what pi tastes like.
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Always be yourself, unless you can be Chuck Norris, then always be Chuck Norris.
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