Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236.
It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
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Chuck Norris' free advice is worth a fortune.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cry.
His eyes sweat.
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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it.
Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar.
The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically.
"That's amazing," said the bartender.
"Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby.
"Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
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Chuck Norris can pop every kernel in the bag without burning one.
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If you step on a crack, Chuck Norris will break your back.
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Every Chuck Norris joke is a five star joke just because it says Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
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Chuck Norris was born feet first.
It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
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Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
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Chuck Norris can beatbox with a triangle.
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