Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Kim Kardashian use to be 8 feet tall until Chuck Norris uppercut both her feet and that is why her ass is so big.
Chuck Norris' yawn put people in comas.
Chuck Norris once squeezed an M&M so hard that it turned into a Skittle.
Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
Chuck Norris knows your reading this...
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.