Chuck Norris passed a kidney stone once. That stone is now known as The Death Star.
You know the movie, Alien VS Predator? Well it used to be called Alien VS Predator VS Chuck Norris, but no body would pay to see a fight 7 seconds long.
Chuck Norris sent a e-mail through the postal service.
Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
If Chuck Norris were an Adam's Apple, he'd be in your throat right now.
Chuck Norris can kill a man in 52 different ways using only a ballpoint pen.
When Chuck Norris kills time, that'll be the end of it.
Somebody said that Chuck sucks, since then their severed head with many foot marks have been found...
Chuck Norris dosen't get lost... Everything around him is in the wrong place!
Chuck Norris does not need guns to win, he only uses them to fight fairly.