Chuck Norris invented half when he round house kicked the number 1
Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
Chuck Norris has hair of steel wool. That's why his mullet never moves.
The role of terminator was originaly played by Chuck Norris, but they decided against it as no-one would want to shit their pants for two hours strait.
"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter. To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
Chuck Norris once stuck a fork in a toaster and the toaster got electrocuted.
When Chuck Norris breaks the speed limit, no one can put it back together again.
Chuck Norris is the reason you turn a light on when you enter a room.
Chuck Norris can sit in the shade...in an open field.
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.