Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy. That is why there is no life on any of them.
If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Once, an entire country disagreed with Chuck Norris. It's now known as the moon
Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
Chuck Norris can power solar panels. At Night.
When Chuck Norris played the card game War with a friend, France surrendered.
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Chuck Norris understood the ending of Lost.