Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy.
That is why there is no life on any of them.
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Chuck Norris once had to go to court...the judge got life in prison.
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The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
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Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel.
Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
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Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
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The Titanic sunk because Chuck Norris ran into it during his swim.
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No one's afraid to criticize the US President, but no one even dares to say one bad thing about Chuck Norris...
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The Statue of Liberty is alive, but Chuck Norris told her not to move.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS: The World orients itself to where he wants to go.
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A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
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