Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy.
That is why there is no life on any of them.
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Only Chuck Norris can cross the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath and Beyond store.
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Chuck Norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get stuck in traffic, traffic gets stuck in Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.
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Chuck Norris can shoot around a corner.
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Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face.
Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men.
The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons.
Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face.
There is only one King.
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Chuck Norris cannot only accelerate beyond the speed of light.
He can also accelerate beyond the speed of dark.
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Chuck Norris favorite pick up line: ''now''
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Some people can ride their bikes with no handle bars.
But chuck norris can ride his handlebars with no bike.
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