Chuck Norris dosent swim, water just likes him.
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When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
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Chuck Norris protects his airbag in an accident.
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Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
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Chuck Norris has no need to walk.
The universe simply moves around him.
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When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.
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Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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Chuck Norris once shot someone with a knife.
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The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
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