Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls...
He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
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People say that time heals all wounds.
They obviously never got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
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When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
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If Chuck Norris is defusing a bomb and has a choice of red wire, yellow wire and green wire, he chooses blue.
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While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
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Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
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The Animal Crackers that Chuck Norris eats are made from real animals.
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Chuck Norris has a lot to contribute to the Third World...
War.
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Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
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