Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls...
He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS: The World orients itself to where he wants to go.
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They say that "You can't cheat Death", but Chuck Norris can beat it fairly.
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Chuck Norris dosen't need to stand on top of the empire state building to kill someone with a penny.
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Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee.
He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
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Obama said, "Yes we can." Chuck Norris says, "I already did.".
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Chuck Norris acting contracts are if the movie producer want Chuck Norris to act in his movie, the producer is roundhouse kicked.
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Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
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Chuck Norris can get breakfast at McDonalds after 11, at Taco Bell.
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When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you.
When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly
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