Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls... He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
Chuck Norris caught a bullet with the same gun he fired it from.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burnt; that would be a foolish thing for the sun to do.
Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.
When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.
The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."