Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls... He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
The only time Chuck Norris made a mistake was when he thought he made a mistake
Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
Chuck Norris once dropped a glass vase onto the floor. The glass apologized for breaking in his presence.