Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
Demons don't hunt Chuck Norris... He is hunting them!
Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
Chuck Norris' beard has it's own Social Security number.
Chuck Norris CAN handle the truth.
There's a medical term for those who willingly defy Chuck Norris... organ donors.
Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
The president of the USA lives in the White House. Chuck Norris lives in the Roundhouse.