Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
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Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.
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Chuck Norris won one million dollars gambling playing Solitaire.
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The sun is the burning remains of the last planet Chuck Norris pillaged.
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Chuck Norris tells clocks what time it is.
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Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees.
He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
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There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
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The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.
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Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
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If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
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A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him.
That man was Stephen Hawking.
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