Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
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A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
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Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out.
No one dared to move.
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Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.
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Chuck Norris doesn't pick up his food to eat it.
He commands it to enter his mouth.
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Chuck Norris can throw a house through a window.
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Chuck Norris hates Raymond.
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Chuck Norris caught all the 493 Pokemon...
With the Yellow version.
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Chuck Norris will never die.
The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
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Chuck Norris once broke the land bike speed record with a bike with a lost chain and a missing back wheel.
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He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword.
He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
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