Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
Chuck Norris can run a full marathon in just 3 miles.
Chuck Norris is the reason there is wind. The air tries to get away from him as fast as possible.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris knows who let the dogs out.
"With great power comes a great beard!" - Chuck Norris.