Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a security system. Chuck Norris is a security system.
When Chuck Norris asks you to stop mid-sentence, you.
Chuck Norris once rolled a dice. It landed on tails.
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
Chuck Norris dropped an apple once, and gravity was born.
When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons. None of it is his own.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
When the metal detector goes off at the airport, it is just verifying Chuck Norris walked through.
God created Adam, Adam saw Chuck Norris, Adam created tears.
Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.