Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
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Last year Chuck Norris won the prize for best float at the Carnival in Rio simply by walking in the parade wearing his cowboy hat.
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When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks, physics decides to shut up.
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When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
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I had an idea once, and a light bulb appeared over my head.
Chuck Norris had an idea, and the sun was created.
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Chuck Norris can block Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook account.
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To finally solve whether Mona-Lisa is smiling or not, Chuck Norris took a quick look at it.
She's crying
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Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
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Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation.
Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
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Chuck Norris is Darth Vaders father.
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