When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
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Chuck Norris doesn't read books.
He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
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Wagner is really Chuck Norris!
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Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
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We ask the president to make laws.
The president asks Chuck Norris.
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The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.
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Chuck Norris reads with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
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If Chuck Norris hosted TV series "Survivor" No one would Survive!
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