When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
When Chuck Norris is in Rome, they do what he does.
Chuck Norris has sneezing allergies in the mid-to-late fall. This time is typically referred to as hurricane season.
Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.
Chuck Norris asked his script writer for more dialogue and the script writer said "Chuck you mean more grunting?"
Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
Whenever Chuck Norris rolls a 6 sided dice, he always rolls a 7.
If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.