When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
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Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
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Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
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In Chuck Norris' yard, money does grow on trees.
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Chuck Norris cuts paper by sticking his fingers out in a V and moving them up and down.
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Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
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Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
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In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
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Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.
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Chuck Norris beat Halo 3 on legendary, with a broken Guitar Hero controller.
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