Chuck Norris can make a stop sign say go.
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Chuck Norris blows out trick candles.
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After meeting with Chuck Norris' lawyer the UFC have changed their name from "Ultimate Fighting Championship" to simply "Fighting Championship."
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Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you.
Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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Chuck Norris made time wait.
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Chuck Norris isn't a good shot, his bullets just know better than to miss.
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Chuck Norris once broke the sound barrier.
In half.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.
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When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons.
None of it is his own.
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When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
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If Chuck Norris was on Minute to Win it, they would need 59 seconds of filler.
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