Chuck Norris can make a stop sign say go.
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Chuck Norris doesn't make typos.
Words simply stutter in his presence.
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Chuck Norris shot a man to death with an unloaded nerf gun.
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Chuck Norris once donated blood to a man, hes' known as Super Man.
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Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life.
When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
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Chuck Norris can keep up with the Kardashians.
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May 6th, 1945: A then five-year old Chuck Norris swam the Atlantic Ocean.
The next day, the Nazis surrendered...
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Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
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One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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Chuck Norris doesn't read books.
He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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