Chuck Norris was supposed to make a cameo appearence in "Full House" but he was let off because he wanted to rename the show "Roundhouse."
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Chuck Norris's wish isn't your command, Chuck Norris's command is your wish...
Chuck Norris can create tornados by running around in circles.
Chuck Norris can stab a knife with a man.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'.
Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
Titanic crashed into Chuck Norris' cut out toe nail.
Chuck Norris donated his heart to a hospital... twice.