Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea?
A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
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What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA
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Dad shouts: "Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!"
Son: "Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"
There was a school about learning roundhouse kicks.
No one finished it.
Why?
Chuck Norris kicked them with a roundhouse kick.
It's his only weakness so no one must know how to do Roundhouse Kick!
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Why are baseball players in trouble with the law so often?
They always hit and run.
Coach: Your roommate and the captain of the team reported that you have many bad words for me in your sleep!
So do you abuse me in your sleep!
Football Player: Coach, It is just not true!
Coach: What is not true, I trust the captain and I am asking this in front of him!
Football player: Coach, It is untrue that I was sleeping!
"I like to watch the World Series. Here's what I do.
I sit down and drink a few beers in my underwear and scream at the TV.
That's until they throw me out of Applebees."
Dave Letterman
PE Teacher: "Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?"
Pupil: "You told me to put it on the Net."
What is the noisiest game?
Squash – because you can’t play it without raising a racquet!
Yo' mama so fat, people exercise by doing laps 'round her!
Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court.
The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?"
"Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear.
He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge.
"On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me."
"Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said,
"I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"