Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea?
A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
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There was a school about learning roundhouse kicks.
No one finished it.
Why?
Chuck Norris kicked them with a roundhouse kick.
It's his only weakness so no one must know how to do Roundhouse Kick!
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A sailor and a priest were playing golf.
The sailor took his first shot missed and said, "F**k, I missed."
Surprised, the priest replied, "Don’t use that kind of language or god will punish you."
The sailor took aim and hit his shot second shot.
Again he missed and under his breath the said, "I f**k’n missed again."
The priest overheard and replied, "My son, please don’t use that language or god will punish you."
The sailor took his third shot and once again he couldn’t help mutter, "Oh f**k" The priest said, "That’s it god will certainly punish you."
Suddenly a bolt of lightning came down and killed the priest.
In the distance a deep voice said, "F**K, I Missed."
What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court?
Annette!
Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics...
In the summer.
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Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?
Because all the fans have left.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
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I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
Why can't girls play hockey?
Because their pads can't last three periods.
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How about we march into your red zone and I'll split the uprights?
High five!