Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea? A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Why did the basketball player go to jail? "Because he shot the ball!"
I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
I thought I told you to lose weight. Says the coach. What happened to your three week diet that I told you to keep? Well, I finished it in three days!
There was this kid who wanted to divorce his parents, so he takes them to court. The judge says, "do you want to live with your dad?" the kid says "no! he beats me!". The judge says,"you want to live with your mom?" "no! she beats me too!". So the judge says, "who do you want to live with then?" The kid says, "The Cleveland Browns...they can't beat anybody!"
Rugby player: "Doctor, doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror - I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" Doctor: "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
The way from the cabins to the ring is too long, says the boxer. No worries, on your way back you will come back with the stretcher...
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is.
A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "It`s for my husband," she tells the clerk. "Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk. "Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn`t even know that I`m going to shoot him!"
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300... Without a ball... He wasn't even in a bowling ally.