Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea? A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
A boxer had written on his tombstone: "You can stop counting. I'm not getting up."
Q:What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A:Santa stops after three hos.
Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse? It got angry and bit at the champ!
Chuck was once on the Olympics and he won all the medals but he was disqualifyed for roundhouse kicking the judges because they misspelled his name.
What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player? Bear Jordan.
A burglary was recently committed at West Ham's ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet.
Q: Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet? A: Because they can't stop saving their work.
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
It's the 7th game of the Stanley Cup Finals. At the beginning of the game, a guy sits down in his seat and notices an empty seat and another gentleman next to him. "Can you believe it?" the man says to the gentleman, "It's game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals and there is actually an empty seat! What's up with that I wonder!" The gentleman speaks up and says, "Well, you see the seat belonged to my wife. We went to the games together." "Where is your wife? The man asks cautiously. "She passed away," said the gentleman. "Oh, I'm sorry, you could not get anyone else to come to the game with you?" said the man. Said the gentleman with a slight smirk "No, they're all at the funeral."