Chuck Norris can check his pulse by same hand.
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Chuck Norris leaves messages before the beep.
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Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook...
No one's his friend.
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Chuck Norris once planted a box of Cheerios in his yard, the result was a donut tree.
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People believe in God. God believe in Chuck Norris.
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Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
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Chuck Norris once taught a book to read.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.
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Time waits for no man.
Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
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