Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
UV rays are caused by Chuck Norris' smiles.
Got said, "Let there be light!" Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
Only Chuck Norris can cross the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath and Beyond store.
Chuck Norris doesn't get stuck in traffic, traffic gets stuck in Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is so sharp you can cut yourself just by looking at him.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
Chuck Norris doesn't solve math - math solves Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris went to school so he could be studied.
Chuck Norris likes steel wool... it's his loofah.