Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
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Chuck Norris' blood is the only blood to test positive for kickass.
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Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
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The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
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Chuck Norris once fell off a ladder, it immediately became a chair and caught him out of fear.
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Chuck Norris found the 51st shade of gray.
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Some people wear Superman Underwear, Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.
On the other hand, Chuck Norris wears no underwear.
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Chuck Norris once caught the Ebola virus, it's been on the run ever since.
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Chuck Norris can turn diamonds back into coal.
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Chuck Norris can cross all Seven Bridges of Konigsberg, making all the current laws of Math, obsolete.
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