Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
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Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
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Right angles used to be called wrong angles until Chuck said, "I don't see anything wrong with them."
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Chuck Norris pitties Mr. T.
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The sun is the burning remains of the last planet Chuck Norris pillaged.
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Allstate gets insurance from Chuck Norris, because even Allstate needs to be in good hands.
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Contrary to popular belief there was a Chuck Norris sighting on the set of The Crow.
No Lee is allowed to live when Chuck Norris is around.
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Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
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When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
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Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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