Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
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The first paper money press was invented when Chuck Norris drew a design under his boot and stepped on a tree.
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Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris can over rev a revolver.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
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The Twilight Zone enters the Chuck Norris Zone.
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The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
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Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it.
Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
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When Google has a question Chuck Norris always knows it.
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When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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If Chuck Norris were president, he would protect the secret service.
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