Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.
In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks your ass.
Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.
Rambo is simply Chuck Norris disguised as Sylvester Stalone playing tag.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear. He sleeps with a real bear.
When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
The actual definition of U.F.O is Chuck Norris's Toy Frisbee.
Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.