Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
Kryptonite is ancient Latin for Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
Chuck Norris can play the saxophone... while holding his breath.
When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech. He actually does it.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
Chuck Norris thought 24 was a sit-com.
The Question Mark was invented after scientists attempted to measure the speed of a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.