Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.
When Chuck Norris talks, E.F. Hutton listens.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS. Chuck Norris decides where he is.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
The ground hog only pokes his head out to check for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris would have attacked the Death Star with the Shield Generator still up.
Chuck Norris's black belt was made in a black hole.