Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
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When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
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Chuck Norris can travel through time by running 88 miles per hour.
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They say that "You can't cheat Death", but Chuck Norris can beat it fairly.
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Columbus may have discovered America, but after a conversation with Chuck Norris it was decided, Chuck Norris discovered America.
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Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
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Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to clear his sinuses.
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Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.
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God is one of Chuck Norris's creation.
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Chuck Norris made this sentence finish.
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Thundergun shot is a Chuck Norris sneeze.
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