Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
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Chuck Norris sees dead people...and they run.
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Chuck Norris found the end of a rainbow.
The leprachuan said he couldn't have the gold.
So he roundhouse kicked him in the face.
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Chuck Norris wins Clue in one guess.
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Chuck Norris can swim in an empty pool.
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Chuck Norris can gargle with honey.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
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Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee.
Except Chuck Norris.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
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