Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
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Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
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Chuck Norris invented half when he round house kicked the number 1
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Chuck Norris can finish a Super Mario game with just one arrow key.
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The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
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The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
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There is no such thing as global warming.
Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
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Chuck Norris can break air.
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Think of the hottest woman.
Chuck Norris did her.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Chuck Norris needs no further explanation.
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