Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
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The AC/DC song "Highway to Hell" is about Chuck Norris' driveway.
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Only once in history has Chuck Norris snapped his fingers, scientists call it The Big Bang.
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Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday.
Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
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Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
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Chuck Norris went around the world... by standing still.
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Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
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Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive?
A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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Water needs safety arm bands when swimming with Chuck Norris.
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