Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.
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If Chuck Norris were a toy, everything about it would be hazardous.
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Chuck Norris once won a chess game after losing his king
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Chuck Norris was an only child.
Eventually.
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Chuck Norris Avenged the Avengers.
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When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.
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Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
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