Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
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Chuck Norris throws a dodgeball at you, knocks all your teeth out.
Then the ball hits you.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars.
He smokes smoke grenades.
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Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler.
With him inside it.
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No statement can catch the ChuckNorrisException.
Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
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Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
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