Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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Chuck Norris roundhouse kick is fast that he stopped the Flash.
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Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
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Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.
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Chuck Norris can't get a riddle wrong.
The riddle can only have the wrong answer.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with Chuck Norris?
A: Nothing. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can get up to level 40 in Fallout 3.
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Ali Baba said "Open sesame" to open the secret entrance to the treasure, but little did he know that saying "Open Chuck Norris" opens all doors.
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Chuck Norris can sink a hole in none!
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Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
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