Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
Chuck Norris stem cells can reproduce missing limbs.
Moses did not part the sea. Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
Chuck Norris can get a strike in bowling using a ping-pong ball.
Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating. He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.
If Chuck Norris gets a question wrong, it is right.
Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia. While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.