Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
The only difference between nunchucks and the legs of Chuck Norris is that wood eventually breaks.
Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack. His heart is too smart to not attack him.
Chuck Norris can make you fold a Royal Flush.
The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.
They said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, a picture of Chuck Norris is worth a 1000 ways to die.
Chuck Norris uses an air bag... in order to protect the inside of his car in case he stops too fast.