Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.
No man can perfectly predict the weather, not even Chuck Norris. But the weather DOES try to predict what kind of day Chuck would like to have...
Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
Chuck Norris won one million dollars gambling playing Solitaire.
Chuck Norris is the four horsemen of the apocalypse!
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
Chuck Norris can talk with his mouth closed.
Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.