Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear.
He sleeps with a real bear.
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Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
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Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids.
The results came back positive.
When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
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Chuck Norris can light the contents of the Windows recycle bin on fire.
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America doesn't need a military...
We've got Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
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King Kong climbed the Empire State Building because Chuck Norris was waiting at the bottom.
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If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."
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People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul.
It's a myth.
Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
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