Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
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Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
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Only Chuck Norris can cross the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath and Beyond store.
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Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can punch a hole through thin air.
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Chuck Norris can punch your thoughts and give you a headache.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris...
Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
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Chuck Norris can copy and paste on a typewriter.
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Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks.
They fold under pressure.
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Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed.
Some get away.
They are called astronauts.
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