Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.
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Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
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It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured.
It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
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Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone.
This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
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Chuck Norris once won a Poker tournament using only Pokemon cards.
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When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari
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A time paradox was invented when Chuck Norris went back in time to raise himself.
Now he has provoked the event 2012.
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Chuck Norris once stuck a fork in a toaster and the toaster got electrocuted.
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Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
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Physics is bound by the laws of Chuck Norris.
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The first thing James Cameron saw when he reached the Challenger Deep was Chuck Norris snorkeling down to test his new watch.
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