Chuck Norris' toothpaste doesn't have baking soda in it, it has gunpowder in it.
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When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
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Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
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When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
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In the game "Clue", the murder is always committed by Chuck Norris, with a roundhouse kick, in any room he danged well pleases.
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Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
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Chuck Norris commited suicide, and lived.
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If Chuck Norris fights with himself, it's a win-win situation.
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America doesn't need a military...
We've got Chuck Norris
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
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