Chuck Norris' toothpaste doesn't have baking soda in it, it has gunpowder in it.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
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Chuck Norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose.
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The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun.
The Earth is stationary.
The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
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Chuck Norris can rotate text in MS Paint.
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If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.
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Love is one way to get to a persons heart the other is Chuck Norris' fists.
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Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
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Chuck Norris can surf on lava.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.
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Chuck Norris finished the Never Ending Story.
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