Chuck Norris' toothpaste doesn't have baking soda in it, it has gunpowder in it.
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Once, an entire country disagreed with Chuck Norris.
It's now known as the moon
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Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
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The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
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The world did not have a tilt in its axis until Chuck Norris stubbed his toe on the North Pole.
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Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
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Chuck Norris once won a staredown over a walkie talkie.
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Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
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The Dead Sea was once alive before Chuck Norris bathed there.
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Chuck Norris doesn't expect the unexpected.
He knows the unexpected.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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